How to Stop Wandering?

I got a phone call from a good friend recently about a position in outpatient psychiatry in which I might be interested. This is mainly because it’s in Madison, Wisconsin, a city both me and my wife really fell in love with several years ago when I tried working in a private practice outpatient environment.

This one is interesting with a mascot and a group with a sense of humor–something my friend knows I appreciate. He readily acknowledged that he doesn’t know how much I’d like being an “office jockey.”

Not so much.

kramer4_thAnyway the practice has been around for 30 years and the mascot is a poodle named–Kramer. Kramer looks good in plaid. I don’t suppose they’d mind if I advertised for them.

That reminds me of a few things. One is that our psychiatry consult service’s new mascot still lacks a name. One of the residents named the egg but I’ve already forgotten it. Watch out, here’s a poll!


The other is my predilection for moving around a lot, which is probably why I can’t get used to being an office jockey. One reason why consulting psychiatrists do this kind of work is that they get to wander around the hospital. It’s better for your health. I hear sitting is the new smoking.

Another thing I’d miss is teaching medical students and residents. It’s the main reason I’ve returned from private practice–twice. I can’t really call myself a mentor. I’d have to stretch the definition quite a bit. Because I’m rarely in one place for very long, I don’t really have office hours. I’ve always thought quality time is what mentees need and want. It’s sort of like a parent-child relationship although it may be wrong for me to frame it that way. I’m the worst possible fit for that.

I’m a child-like geezer.

I’m also pretty close to retirement and I think I’d get a lot of polite reasons from prospective employers why I’m not the droid they’re looking for. Kramer might make me sneeze. I’m allergic to animal dander but I’m told poodles don’t shed.

So if you’re looking for a position in outpatient psychiatry…tell Kramer I sent you.