The Geezer’s Smartphone Saga Begins

OK, so I started shopping for a smartphone yesterday on my carrier’s website. I stopped in the Psychiatry Consultation Service Staff Office and asked a few of the residents (after interrupting them from whatever they were doing on their computers and devices) about what they think I should buy. The answer was unanimous.

Get the iphone.

Amos_iPhone

The Geezer vs Technology

Hey, no kidding; that’s what they said. They cited reasons including user-friendly interface, interoperability with other devices such as iPads (which I already have), and great customer support. Many thanks to Dr. Aubrey Chan, one of the most tech savvy residents I know, who made the awesome Geezer and 2001 Space Odyssey Smartphone image above.

I require only two features: access to a medical literature database, such as a PubMed search App–and a holster.

Hmmmm…somebody told me a holster looks dorky.

Christmas Dog

“A smartphone holder looks dorky; by the way, Christmas…and a snowstorm is coming.”–Pain-in-the-Butt SpokesCanine

There’s a dizzying array of choices, but I could not find a flip phone. I know they exist:

I guess there are several versions of the iphone ranging from the iphone 4s to the experimental 18x, which, according to most reviewers who eat doughnuts laced with something very powerful, can handle the Find Clozapine REM Doc vers. 2.1. It’s similar to a device an Iowa researcher uses to locate missing matter in space. It’s kind of like an Etch A Sketch, another potential Christmas gift I might be interested in, just in case a certain somebody is reading this.

I’m still getting Alert messages for patients on clozapine who are not under my care–if you haven’t guessed that already. If I had to name two reasons why I would be hustling toward retirement, it would be the Maintenance of Certification (MOC) Program and the Clozapine REMS Program (the REMperor has no clothes!) and I think there may be an analogy between retirement strategies fostered by our Federal government and regulatory changes that affect the lives of all doctors and other clinicians. Sure, change is always coming but not all change is for the better. Changes like the Clozapine REMS Program can be a lot like the Social Security Rules change–leaving you feeling like the rug got pulled out from under you.

Can I retire yet? Can I register in the Clozapine REMS Program yet? Can I remove the clozapine patients from my list who are under another doctor’s care yet? Can I submit my MOC credits yet (not unless you have all the credits required for the Physician Folio–I think). Are there Apps for these yet? Hey, here’s an update on the Clozapine REMS Program on the continuing technical difficulties just in as I was trying to finish this post:

I’m also wondering if there’s a smartphone App for delirium prevention interventions, including the Hospital Elder Life Program (HELP), which another resident who has an abundance of interest in Psychosomatic Medicine sent me a message about yesterday–with an abundance of pride since the story is about a hospital in her hometown:

She wonders if all the college and high school volunteers who inhabit our wonderful city (and as she says, there’s “…a LOT of them every summer…”) could be recruited for a HELP intiative–soon, like in June.

Hmmm…there’s a login… although I’m not sure there’s an App for that…yet.

There’s a lot of enthusiasm for becoming and being a doctor still out there, including becoming a Psychosomatic Medicine specialist judging from my recent survey of our department.

What’s the best way to foster the continued growth of that energy? Well, probably not burdening us further with regulatory bailing wire–and letting us explore.

And are Touch ID, Barometers, Three-axis gyros, Accelerometers, Proximity sensors, and Ambient light sensors vital factors for a geezer to consider in smartphone purchase assessments?

A little help here.

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